Valentine’s Day. Either you love it, or you hate it.
That is, either you love it, or you hate it, or you feel no emotion about it whatsoever, or you have never heard of the holiday and need it explained to you.
In truth, the possibilities are endless when it comes to how people can think and feel about Valentine’s Day, so I’ll just stop there.
It is possible, even probable, that St. Valentine himself wouldn’t approve what the holiday named for him has become.
If he could see social media postings about Valentine’s Day, he might type “SMH.”
Of course, his decapitation by Emperor Claudius makes several aspects of that last sentence problematic.
Let’s not worry about what St. Valentine might think of the holiday, and just focus on enjoying, guiltlessly, the following Valentine’s Day events.
A.R. Gurney’s Sylvia First Presbyterian Theater Feb. 11, 12, 13, 18, 19, and 20
It’s almost Valentine’s Day and romance is the last thing on your mind. Actually, the last thing on your mind is more likely to be either Fotomat, sock garters, actor Wally Cox, or the War of Jenkin’s Ear.
It’s impossible to say what the very last thing on your mind might be. But if you are having trouble getting into a romantic mood, go see this delightful play about a couple and their dog.
Valentine’s Make & Take Event Board and Brush North Feb. 5
Board and Brush is offering people the chance to let their hair down and paint the night away this year.
Just don’t let it down into the paint.
Board and Brush will offer 14 Valentine’s Day projects.
Fourth Birthday Weeklong Celebration Hop River Brewing Company Feb. 8 to 13
I would be willing to bet more people beware the ides of February than beware the ides of March.
I don’t even know what ides are. I am assuming they’re something bad.
Doesn’t winter consist entirely of ides? What isn’t an ide at this time of year?
Visit Hop River and drown your ides.
Dessert Date Night Baking Class Sweets So GeekFeb. 11
Valentine’s Day is about more than canoodling, cooing, and smooching.
In fact, it’s about a lot of things that don’t have two successive O’s in them.
For example, you and your honey can go learn how to make a chocolate torte. If you want to make a “chocolate toorte,” you’ll have to go elsewhere.
The Bootlegger’s Ball Auburn Cord Duesenberg Museum Feb. 12
According to Grammerly.com, Valentine’s Day may have evolved out of a Roman event called Lupercalia.
“Every year on February 15, priests called Luperci sacrificed animals. Afterward, they cut narrow strips of skin from the sacrificed animals and ran around using them to hit women they encountered in the streets. Supposedly, any woman touched by the animal skin became fertile.”
Back then, people complained, “Lupercalia is just a commercial holiday. It was invented by the leather strap industry.”
If you want to avoid the traditional trappings of either holiday, attend this roaring ‘20s-themed fundraiser at the ACD Museum in Auburn.
If you only want to avoid most of the trappings of either holiday, you’ll have to bring your own leather strap.
AristoKrafts Valentine’s Bazaar Feb. 12
Whether you are single-but-looking, attached, married, or living in a cave with seven diminutive men who have lovely singing voices but egregiously poor hygiene, you will find a gift or gifts for that special someone at this bazaar.
Valentine Dance with the Wingmen American Legion Post 47 Feb. 12
Maybe you’re not feeling particularly lovey dovey this year. Maybe you’re only feeling dovey.
Mere “doveyness” is a hard sell on Valentine’s Day.
What you need is a wingman. Perhaps even a group calling itself The Wingmen.
They can’t change your doveyness to loveyness, but they can really buff your doveyness to a fine shine.
Valentine Dessert Night Sweets So Geek Feb. 12
People often say, “love is in the air” and “romance is in the air.”
But what is really in the air?
The smell of chocolate.
I’d say, “Sweets So Geek always pulls out all the stops for its Valentine events,” but Sweets So Geek doesn’t have any stops.
Roses Are Red Valentine’s Day Dinner Flashback Live Feb. 14
If you are down in the winter doldrums, I don’t blame you.
It is much better to be up in the doldrums, of course. The higher the better.
Flashback Live has been raising people up in, and out of, the doldrums a few years now.
Valentine’s Day is a holiday of grand and gland gestures.
Meaning, I guess, that you do something extravagant for the one you love because you are experiences extravagant chemical processes within you.
Flashback Live is offering something genuinely grand this year: a four-course dinner with various types of entertainment and a professional photo.
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