Oh, dearie me Ö my grandson Jason asked me to listen to a CD and write a review for him, and he asked me to be nice so as not to bring Mr. whatzup any undue headaches, which isn’t something I normally have a problem with despite what Edna at the bridge club says. So I agreed, thinking he would drop off some lovely Sinatra or maybe the new Yanni, but instead he brought me The Battle for Innocence by Leo K3 and the Darkside Clique. Oh dear, I couldn’t even leave this out on the table for fear my hospice nurse would see the eerie cover and up my medication.

But I listened to it – once – and I’m pretty sure it took a few years off my life. I simply can’t believe how many times they used the “F” word and in nearly every song too! For example, the lyrics of “The Drinking Song” are almost exclusively comprised of “Drink, motherf***ers, drink” repeated over and over again until they start to chant “drink! drink! drink!” for about half a minute I’m certainly glad my dear Jack, God rest his soul, didn’t hear this song, and I wish it would stop popping into my mind at the grocery! “Run To Your Church” used samples from that awful Hitchcock movie, Psycho, while they rapped “Let the truth be told / That your heart is cold” and “We’re preaching to your kids not to be like you.” The lyrics in “Give Us The Money” made me blanch, and I had to take a heart pill I mean, why would anyone want to sing, “We won’t suck your d**k, b**ch / Give us some money / Give us some cars”?

I’ve got to admit that most of the 20 tracks were this mid-tempo rap stuff, and I just can’t make heads or tails out of it. There were a few songs that were what my generation would call songs. For instance, “I Used To Pray” has real singing, although the guy can’t hold a candle to Sinatra, and electric guitars and a nice melody. I also found “Superstars” to be lots of fun, almost like a hip-hop version of “The Monster Mash,” with silly voices and some crazy guitars. As for the song “Kill All The Critics,” oh dearie Ö I should play it safe and say that this song rawks.

Seeing as how the band likes to insert their name in nearly every song, I suppose I should give a “shout out” to each of them. Let’s see, Leo K3 wrote most of the lyrics, Fast Charlie played most of the instruments, DJ Spot made most of the drum programming and loops and various local superstars helped out (Massakre The Invader, Shang-Hi, Jared Pagan, DDLux, Rhymewise 37, Ry-Guy, Smitty, and Chunky Chunk). While not exactly this old bag’s bag, some of these ditties have grown on me, so Leo K3, if you see a lady with a walker at your next show, please be nice to me. You can get The Battle For Innocence at Wooden Nickel, Borders, Convolution Records, www.leok3.com and at Senior Center Gift Shop.