According to the Intro of this silly album, you may as well forget using the out-of-date Barry White to seduce the ladies. No need for any exotic love potions either. Apparently, the only thing necessary for a little ‘roll in the hay’ nowadays is a stereo system capable of playing Music To Make Love To Your Old Lady By. (If the title of the record isn’t enough to ‘get her in the mood,’ I don’t know what is!) In an effort to help those who are romantically deficient, Nathaniel Merriweather (aka Dan The Automator) has attempted to put together an erotic soundscape of intoxicating loops and beats. While his intentions may have been gallant, if not entirely pure, Merriweather and his whole Lovage project go limp and prematurely fizzle out before any auditory satisfaction is achieved.

In the past, Dan The Automator has brought forth righteously wicked beats (see Dr. Octagon’s Dr. Octagonecologyst), but Lovage’s quasi-seductive shuffle and shake does little to arouse the ears. “Lies and Alibis” trots along uninterestingly for some time before giving way to the unequally fun “Book Of The Month.” The two songs are separated, as is much of the album, by a throwaway monologue, half-heartedly performed by one of many (unnecessary) guest vocalists who appear on the album. It’s disappointing to see the underground wizard of hip-hop fall so flat, and one hopes that it is only a misstep for the promising Automator.

The majority of this disc would best be forgotten, but it’s not a complete waste of time. Vocalists Mike Patton (Fantomas, Tomahawk, Mr. Bungle, Peeping Tom, Faith No More, etc., etc.) and Jennifer Charles heat things up on a couple tracks. “Lifeboat” sways and swaggers not unlike good Portishead, while “Pit Stop (Take Me Home)” incites the senses as intended. Patton’s whisper/growl is the perfect bed for Charles’ velvet pipes, which leaves one craving for an entire album built around these two rather than everything else included here.